I need you...

I dont know what I did...

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 20:29:25 GMT

Well, I can add Dave to the list of guys that dont like me because they think im annoying.
I honestly dont understand it.
Its not like I try to be annoying.
Im just being the only way I know how to be.
It really wears a person down to constantly hear that kinda crap.
So, im done going to church on saturdays.
Its not worth it to go and know in the back of my mind that he thinks im annoying.

I seriously feel like crap right now.
Like im going to cry or something.
It really hurts m feelings to hear that shit.

Alright.
Peaceoutside.

Oi

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 05:00:05 GMT

I dont even know anymore.
Im tired of everything.
I think im slowly losing my mind.
I dont know what to do.
Nothing is working anymore.

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 19:59:05 GMT

2:47 in the afternoon and im sittin here with Ashley eating chicken.
Weee.
Anyhow... NOA show was last night.
Branden was of course, gorgeous.
lol.
I was Shaun from SOTD for Halloween and Ashley was Rasheed Jamison the Subway worker.
haha.
We schooled Jenny and Bridget at Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooseball.
Major fun.
Branden hurt me.
Haha.
Ashley and I came back to my house and chilled for like, 2 hours before we left for Ashleys friend Ashleys.
We got there, and like talked and watched Hannah Montana.
Tony drove us home... small talk was all that occurred.
I think Ashley fell in love all over again.
lol.
"But aparently hes still attached to his bitch hoe girlfriend." - Ashley

We came home and played LIFE and at corndogs.
Then went and watched ARMOR FOR SLEEP.
Ashley passed out about a half hour before me.
lol
Shes takin pics of me.
Haha

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 23:58:36 GMT

So anyhow... im really bored at this moment, hence why im posting an entry to this obviously dead journal.
Oh well.
It makes it easier for me to sleep at night when all my thoughts are somewhere else.

I illegally downloaded My Chemical Romance's new album.
Probably one of the smartest things ive done in a while.

My phone was signed onto the internet for atleast 8 or 9 hours.
I cant wait for my bill this month.
Its going to be ^insane.

Jackie rims my Kool-aid and then makes me create more.
Damn her...
But I still love the bitch.

Jackie and I want to go TRICK-OR-TREATING together this year.
We were talking the other day and her and I wanna be MY CHEM.
Well, she would be Gee and I would be Frankie.
It would be a lot of fun.
I mean, come on... seriously.
Hehe.

I wish my computer wasnt a fuckin whore so I could play SIMS 2, since its what would make me really fuckin happy right now.
I want all the other explansion packs for christmas.
Theres 5 expansion packs and 2 stuff packs.
2 totally different things.
But Marlene wants.

I kicked the chair in the dining room lastnight, and I think I fractured or broke my pinky-toe.
It is still in pain.
Sadness.

Ive decided that Z O M B I E is my new favorite word.
Mainly because it is fuckin amazing.
It makes me happy.

Im thinking of taking out my left-lip ring.
It just FEELS like its infected or not healing right.
Im afraid to take it out because I dont know if ill be able to get another ring in there.
I dont know...

Im in the mood to write/read a story.
But I know when I open Microsoft WORD, that I wont be able to type.
And handwriting a story, totally useless.

Ive started playing GAUNTLET again.
I forgot how much that game kicked ass.
Im in world 3 now.
Yay.

I need to go on a diet.
And ive decided that November 1st though December 31st im gonna eat right and exercise.
With the exception of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.
Haha.
I want to lose this fat ass stomach I have.
Its annoying.
Id rather have a body that people think was created from doin Coccaine.
Hehe.

Im going to dye my hair as soon as I can get to the store.
Its time.
I think im gonna go blonde.
GASP!
Im still debating that.

Tomorrow, I get to rake leaves with the family.
Thats gonna be a fuckin blast.
Haha.

Im kind of hungry right now.
Id like to eat.
I think I might.

...fuckin Liza Minelli...
Sorry, she was singing as I was about to type my next thought.
Haha.

For my pumpkin this year... ive narrowed it down to 3 designs...
1. The Zombie menu sequence in DAWN OF THE DEAD [remake]
2. The cover of EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
3. The OOGY BOOGY MAN from THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Ive really thought about quitting smoking.
I saw one of those TRUTH commercials with the cowboy with the hole in his neck.
I really dont want that.
EW.
So, I think im gonna quit when I go on my diet.
Happy face.

Oh well, I think im gonna go now.
Its been nice venting to you.
Byebye.

So, im stealing music as I type.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 03:54:36 GMT

Ive been Downloading the new My Chemical Romance album for the past half hour, and im on track 12.
How exciting.
Ive fallen in love with the song CANCER.
Im addicted to it.
MOVing on...

The whole point of today was to smoke a birthday bowl with Branden... being it was his birthday.
But it was a total bust, Branden didnt even show up.
So, Ashley Tyler Carrie and myself ended up smokin anyway in her garage.
Carrie almost died from tripping over a slab of wood on the ground, and I did the same thing the second time Ashley and I smoked.
It was great.
: ]
Her and I ate like, a bag of Tator Tots.
They were so damn good.
hehe.

When I got home, I was all 'bleh' so I layed down and slept till 930p.
Came downstairs and messaged back and forth with a few peoples on myspace.
Then started DLing T.B.P.

Well, im off.
Peace.

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 04:37:47 GMT

So, I revamped my Journal.
Not like it matters.
I write in it like, once every 4 months.
And no one reads it or comments on any of my shit.
: /
Oh well.

Im really bored right now.
Its 1236am and I have nothing to do.
I think im just gonna go back to my room.
: /

khateyoubye.

They're learning... they're actually learning.

Mon, 29 May 2006 23:08:53 GMT

Well, ive been thinking a lot lately, and thats hardly ever a good idea.
This morning, when Ashley told Jon that she liked him, I felt like, I was weak.
I had convinced her to tell Jon, and here I sit, not able to tell Branden that I like him.
Of course to some, im sure its obvious.
To all of those except him.
I know in the back of my head, that if I tell him, nothing will happen, and i'll probably get laughed at and made fun of.
Im so pessimistic and its killing me.
I never think that anything I do or say will be good enough.
Im scared to tell Branden because, he's better than me.
Hes 15 and way cooler than I could ever hope to be.
Ive seen girls at shows screaming his name and shit and gawking at him.
He could have any girl he pretty much wanted.
I always do this to myself.
I think of all the things that are wrong with me and assume that those are the only things people see when they look at me.
I never feel worthy of anyone.
I feel worthless.
I feel useless.
I feel unwanted.
I feel ugly on the inside and outside.
Im not worth anything to anyone.
I'll never amount to anything.
Im just another lost soul wandering the wasteland that is our earth.

Yeah.
kthnxbye.

No Ones Anthem, Closed Caption, and The Amino Acids...

Sun, 28 May 2006 04:50:06 GMT

So ok... I just got home from one of the best show ever.

After about an hour of whining, bitching, complaining, and waiting, Ashley, Scott and I were finally at the show.
We were early.
There was maybe, 18 other people there.
So we went and sat by this huge fan and fuckin waited.
Some time passed and N.O.A walked in the backdoor.

Some more time passed and the first band was up.
I feel bad because I can't remember who it was.
: [
ANYway... they were good.
I liked them.
I just wish I could remember their name.
.grrr.

Thennnnn... the next band started setting up and we wandered and shit.
Ashley and I played the crazy hand clapping game thing.
I dont know what the fuck its called.
lol.

Scott wanted a drink, so I was all, "Go see how much a MONSTER is..."
He was all, $2.50.
So we bought one and so did Ashley.
Her and I chugged most of it.
Then, CLOSED CAPTION came on stage and we went up there by the stage.
We rocked out, acting like morons.
lol.
It was fun.

Then, like, I started feeling light headed.
I was leaning and shit.
I couldnt stand up.
The left side of my body had went numb and my hands were shaking.
So, Ashley took me to the bathroom, hallway place.
My head kept falling forward and shit.
Then, I started laughing at a lot of things that WERENT funny.
I finally got into the bathroom and peed.
Then went back into the place and sat down.
I was feeeeeling like fuckin shit.
Scott went to pee and when he came back I was crying.
Honestly, I dont know why.
Just, anxiety or something.
So Ashley took me outside and Sherry came out with us.
I sat on the ledge and Ashley got me some water.
My hands were going insane.
Like, I felt like my grandma.
Some woman started taking my pulse and shit seeing if my heart rate was slowing down.
Some kid came out and was talking to us.
He was nice.
lol.
Someone suggested a chair for me to sit down.
Sherry came out and Mark was behind her.
He was bitching cause I guess he was sitting in it.
Then I sat down and he was all, "What happend?"
And everyone answered for me.
Then he informed that N.O.A was setting up and about to go on.
So I stood up and was all, "Im going in, I came to see you guys."
So they wheeled my chair inside and I sat front row center stage.
It was funny.
I think we pissed a lot of people off.
But oh fucking well, it was so much fun.
About, 1/3 of the way through their set, people were jumping and up and down and using my chair to steady themselves.
I was getting pissed and like, upset.
So, Ashley asked Mark if he would tell them to back up away from me.
lol.
I guess Ashley asked me if I wanted him to before, and I said yes.
I didnt remember saying yes.
I couldnt hear half of what was going on anyway.
Then, maybe half way through, I was all, "fuck it." And I got rid of my chair and enjoyed the show.
I think it was during FORVER YOUNG when Mark like, pointed at me and was singing.
Haha, I felt special.
And not the "Derr dit derr" special.

After N.O.A was done... weeeeee sat on the stage so we wouldnt lose out hxc spot.
I was all, "Im gonna put THE AMINO ACIDS in my belt buckle!"
So, I was like CRAZY putting the letters in there.
I got it and had some time left to spare.
Some time passed... and some more time passed... and a little more time passed.

Then, THE AMINO ACIDS came on stage.
Smoke machine and all.
It smelled like maple syrup.
I started really getting into it because it was like nothing I had ever heard before.
It was just so amazing.
The mosh pit was almost directly behind us.
So, we kept getting pushed up onto the stage.
The lead non-vocalist jumped into the crowd and shit and came running back and used me and this kid and jumped onto the stage.
He turned around and was sitting there staring ahead.
I was like, "what is he doing?"
Then he put his hand out and like, followed the words on my belt buckle and put his hand out for a high five.
Some other kid took my high five and he pushed his hand away after he took it and put his hand back up for another one and I was all, "YEAH BITCH!"
They were so awesome...
Me and Ashley jumped into the mosh pit, it was so awesome.
Nice and hxc, just like I like it.
I fell once, and it was cool.
Haha.

They were done basically, and we started getting our shit and whatnot.
I was walking around looking for Branden Mark and Jon, and one of the guys from TAA came up to me and asked me about my belt buckle.
It was cool.

Scott called home.
Ironically, Scott found a sharpie on the floor and we went outside looking for Branden, Mark and Jon.
I wanted them to sign my water bottle.
Soooo, we went to the back and smoked a cig.
Jon came over to us and thanked us for coming.
We were all, "you guys are so awesome."
Then he went, "You guys come to like every show."
It was good.
Then I handed him my bottle and asked him to sign it.
He was all, "Why?"
And I told him, "Because, I love you."
So, he signed it and then I called Mark and he signed my bottle as well.
Some random girl came up to us and was talking and shit.
I was all, "Hey, you were the girl I helped up."
I shook her hand and whatnot.
Then we went to the front and Branden was out there.
So we went over to him and he signed my bottle.
It was great.
Then, somehow, my panic! attack came up and both Branden and Mark asked me what happened.
So, I explained and whatnot.
Mark asked me if I wanted a hug and I was like, "Yeah, id love a hug."
So we hugged gave them both high fives and they left and my mom pulled up.

ALL IN ALL, IT WAS AN AMAZING FUCKING SHOW!
I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT!

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 03:42:04 GMT

Bleeeh, im bored.

I talked to texas Ryan toooday.
He gave me the set list for Warped... bless his soul.

- WARPED 2006 -
AFI
THURSDAY
ANTI-FLAG
NOFX
AGAINST ME!
RISE AGAINST
UNDEROATH
SENSES FAIL
SAVES THE DAY
PROTEST THE HERO
RELIENT K
JOAN JETT & THE BLACKHEARTS
FROM FIRST TO LAST
MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK
BOUNCING SOULS
TIME AGAIN
I AM GHOST
MATCHBOOK ROMANCE
ESCAPE THE FATE
VANNA
LOVE EQUALS DEATH
GOOD RIDDANCE
ARMOR FOR SLEEP
CHIODOS
SLIGHTLY STOOPID
THE EXPENDABLES
LOS KUNG FU MONKEYS
THE SCOTCH GREENS
SUGARCULT
RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS
AIDEN
SILVERSTEIN
PARAMORE
THE ACADEMY IS…
ROSES ARE RED
CRASH ROMEO
EVERYTIME I DIE
THE BANNER
ZOX
THE CASUALTIES
FLOGGING MOLLY
GOGOL BORDELLO
PLAIN WHITE T'S
GATSBY'S AMERICAN DREAM
ROYDEN
ALL TIME LOW
HELLOGOODBYE
BLEED THE DREAM
HELMET
BIFFY CLYRO
BILLY TALENT
AGAINST ALL AUTHORITY
SHIRA GIRL
SO THEY SAY
FULLY DOWN

Im pretty much excited about that.
I need to save like, $60 by then.
: /

Ashley tells me that Ryan wants to chill with us.
Sounds like it should occurr to me.
: ]

Im hungry... I want to eat like whoa.

GOD DAMNIT HES GORGEOUS!

I dyed my hair yesterday.
Its pretty fuckin rad.
Ashley bleached some of hers.
We are so hott now, its not even funny.
: | <-- See? not laughing...

Kyyle got a screenname.
Some girl made him D/L AIM.
He wants me to tell you to add and IM him at - LykeItsKyyleOMFG
Yeah, thats all.

Mikey, I found out, is STILL in love with me.
I mean, come on... move on babe.
Hes got a girl already, but wont move on.
Oh well, what can you fuckin do?

Im tired now...
But I want to take new myspace pics.
I dont know.
I need to straighten my hair first.
Poooooops.

Ok, well, im done here people.

<3<3

Whats up hot food?!!?!?

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 18:04:28 GMT

So, I just burned my mouth on my food. And, heres the real kicker, are ya ready? IT HURT!!

Ok, well, moving on... this week of school, couldnt have sucked anymore for real. It just, was all bad. I dont think I had ONE good day. Im not even gonna get into how much horrible shit went on. Im not in the mood to make myself retarded.

But, last night my mom, my 2 brothers, my aunt, and I went to Meijer. I got my hair dye again. The issue of REVOLVER with Atreyu on it = ], a new eyeliner pencil, special shampoo for colored hairs, and a 4 pack of ROCKST*R! Ohhh man, am I excited about my ROCKST*R.lol. I love it soo much, I think, im addicted to it. Umm, the REVOLVER mag is gonna be all up on my wall tonight. I think im gettin my hair done tomorrow, idk yet.

Kyyle and I are dating now. Mikey and I are over. We agreed that it was best for both of us if we just split. I think he already has another girl anyway. Kyyle already knows about [HIM] and he doesnt care. Just as long as nothing happens between him and I, its all good.

Well, im bored now and I want to clean my room. So... yeah, love ya.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY ~~FAGGOTS~~!

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 06:31:41 GMT

JESUS H. CRIST! This is my 4th time TRYING to update. If it freezes up ONE MORE TIME, im giving up.

SO... Mark and Ashley picked me up at about 10 to 5. We drove there rocking out to Atreyu and drinking PeachTea. It was basically amazing. When we got there, we went inside, paid, and sat down in the corner. We felt like outcasts allready. lol.

We didnt really get into any of the muscians until the soloists. Jack McDerment was his name, and breaking strings was his game. After his frist song, he broke his string. While waiting for his guitar, he was open for suggestions on what to do. Since we were all sitting on the ground around him like it was story time, Ashley suggested story time. He was al for it, but he didnt have any stories to tell. Finally he got his guitar and sang another song. After that one, he realized he had a strap on it and was all, "I have a strap, im gonna stand up." He asked us to stand up too, and I was more or less talking to Ashley, but i was all, "Wow, he seems really excited about having a strap." He looked at me and was all, "I am excited." He was really good. I fell inlove with his voice immediately.

No Ones Anthem was on after Jack. I felt kind of bad for him because they were setting up WHILE Jack was playing. But, they did have a schedule they had to keep to. So NOA came on, and it as kind of awkward because Ashley and I were front row and about 2 feet from Mark. But none the less, they were amazing. Best band that night, easily. They had a lot of stage presence and a lot of energy. I think there was even a mosh-pit for them. I would have gotten in on it, but I wanted to watch the rest of the show without having an open head wound. lol. Mark is the greatest, ever. Branden is all over the place, all of the time. Jon makes the FUNNIEST faces while drumming. All in all, great set.

After them, I dont really remember much. I got a MASSIVE headache and Ashley and I sat down a lot. At one point... I remember asking her that if I go buy a shirt, if she'll talk to Jon. I was going to buy a shirt either way, but I wanted her to talk to him. She shrugged her shoulders, and we went over there anyway. I looked at the table, and I didnt know what to get. I looked at Mark and Branden and asked them what I should have gotten. Mark pointed to what they had, and I looked at Ashley. She fuckin shrugged, and lastly, I looked at Branden, he didnt know either. SO, I was all, "I'll get a shirt." Branden asked me if I wanted the girls shirt, or the guys shirt. I was all, "HA! The guys shirt, I dont want a fuckin girls shirt." So he goes into the bin and then asks me what size. I ask to see a MED. and he hands it to me, and it looked huge. So I asked for a small, and he starts pulling out shirts. i guess the smalls were on the bottom or something because for the next 2 or 3 minutes, he was pulling out armfulls of shirts. I felt REALLY bad. lol.But I got my shirt. Then gave Mark my money and Ashley says, "I only have $2 otherwise id get a shirt." Mark says they only needed $10 and they could get back into the studio. I myself didnt know if it was a line to get $10 more bucks out of me, but I gave Ashley $8 anyway. They gave her her shirt, and thanked us, we took our merch and left the area. We sat down and talked.

Over the course of the night, Ashley and I had walked around, went outside, talked to Alisha, and stood/sat around. It was getting kind of boring. Monkey Jacket was 2nd to last to perform. We went to the front and I got into the music a lot. They were pretty good. I felt kind of stalker-ish though because we were right next to NOA. But what can ya do? After they played, Ashley and I went and sat down, a few minutes later, we got up and were heading outside again. Branden came walking up to us, and my FIRST instinct was, "oh my god, he's going to YELL at us for something." But really, he just thanked us for coming. It was really cool of him to do that. I gained a whole new respect for the band that night.

After the MakeShifts set up, and started playing, Alisha came back out and we started a chick mosh pit. It was a lot of fun. But some mexican stopped us. It was annoying because the guys had their little ones all night, and we couldnt have one!? But whatever, I mean, its no big deal.

Alisha drove us to my house first, and no one was answering the door or the phone. So we went to Ashleys and her house was all locked up. So we went to the bowling allys around our area, and couldnt find her. We ended up going back to Ashleys and she climbed into her house though her bathroom window. I called my mom and she picked me up.

FUCK!
I skipped so much shit in the last paragraph, but im just soooo tired.

Love you's!

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 07:15:18 GMT

Sooo, its been a couple-a-days since I updated huh?

Yeah sooo... the Get Out Of Jail Free show was last night... technically.

It was pretty much amazing.
I spent $22 bucks.
10 on a No Ones Anthem t-shirt, 8 towards Ashleys t-shirt, and 7 at the dooooooor.
But, it was worth it.

I swear ill type more about the show tomorrow.
I have to go to bed.
Its almost 230 and im kinda tired and shit.
I have a wonderful headache and i wanna shoot myself.

nighty night.
: ]

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 03:51:39 GMT

Hummina blah bleh bluh...

Today basically sucked.

It was really boring and seemed to drag on forever.

First Hour: Government...
Ummm, I finished my ECON homework and that was it.

Second Hour: Econ...
We took notes.

Third Hour: Algebra II...
We were in the lab STILL. Tyler and I fucked around a lot trying to figure out what the hell we were doing for class. We copied Aaron's and now I think we're ok.

Lunch: A...
Umm... the usual pretty much. Ashley emo'd out and left with Tyler for a few. Jackie and I went to the office so I could sign up to talk to my counselor. We came back to the table and Andrew was talkin to Ashley and some words were exchanged and he said he didn't hate anyone but me. That was the last fuckin straw. Im sick of him saying that. Then I got all these bitches tellin me that he says that to everyone. I DONT FUCKING CARE IF HE SAYS IT TO THE POPE! It still hurts my feelings. Sure, I say it too, but I take it back right away. He never does. So I left the lunch room with Jackie and walked around talking for a couple minutes. Then we stopped by the doors and he came up with Ashley and Jimmy. He 'apologized' and we hugged. Jimmy hugged me too for doing nothing. lol. Then the bell rang and we went to class and whatnot.

Fourth Hour: Algebra II...
So... Tyler and myself had AIM downloaded on the school computers right? Well, we were messaging back and forth. A couple other people downloaded it and we went into a chatroom. Well, tyler, myself and chelsea changed the IM send and recieve sound to MOO. So, we were sending a whole bunch of messages just to make the moo sound. It was so much fun. That was probably the best part of the day.

Fifth Hour: Greek Mythology...
We got a packet which I JUST remembered I didnt do. Julie and I have a board game due on thursday, which we havent EVEN started yet. lol.

Sixth Hour: Aerobics...
Amanda and I didnt dress. So I napped. It was good. lol.

When I came home, I talked to Ashley for a bit, then went to bed. I didnt feel well. I woke up at exactly 945p. and came down here. I still have to shower. Meh... I dont feel like getting my hair all wet. Cause then I have to stay up until it dries so I can straighten it. Maybe I jsut wont straighten it... maybe, ill just let it go. Its only a .5 day tomorrow.
: )

Well... im off to shower, drug myself to fall asleep, and then who knows what.

ly.
<3<3

L.L.B.D.

L.L.S.

P.L.L.B.

1.7.4.3.

Woot, no color... im too lazzzzy to.

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 05:15:09 GMT

I like when the font is bold, so I think im going to bold it for now and forever.

TODAY!!!! Was all right.
I wouldnt relive it, but it was cool.

First hour: Government...
We took a pop quiz and I got 5 outta 10.
Not bad, I did better than most.
lol.

Second hour: Econ...
We moved our seats... im so sad because now I dont sit next to Tom, or kiddy corner to Noah, or infront of Andrew...
I miss my old seat.
I no longer look forward to that class.

Third hour: Algebra II...
Were in the lab still.
Were doing something with credit cards and shit.
I have no idea what we're doing.
Im going to fail that class anyway.
I dont think I need it.

Lunch: A...
Not too bad.
I managed to get his attention a few times w/ out realizing.
lol.
I really REALLY like him.
As sad as that sounds, I do.

Fourth hour: Algebra II...
Still labing it.

Fifth hour: Greek Mythology...
Julie wasnt in class so I couldnt do anything for the boardgame.
Bryan got mad at me because I was wearing my GEEK SQUAD shirt.
I convinced them that I work the GEEK SQUAD.
They bought it.
faggots.
lol.

Sixth hour: Aerobics...
Amanda and myself peaced out early.
lol.
We walked around the school with Gabble.
We talked about how we want to fuck the freshmen and shit.

I came home... went online... had some macaroni & cheese... watched my Armor For Sleep DVD... took a nizzap... and the rest is history.

Night homo's

Mental Fiction....

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 04:47:28 GMT

So today ocurred.

I woke up 'round 1030 and pissed.

I finally got my GEEK SQUAD shirt.

: ]

Umm, I moved the shit in my room.
I was sick of the way it looked so I moved it all.

I still havent put all my stuff from TASTE OF CHAOS up yet.
But get this...
I RIPPED all the MCR and FOB pics off my wall.
Literally, ripped.
It felt so liberating.
*happy sigh*
Ive moved on from that little crazed fan shit.
So I threw allllll the pics in the trash and I feel good.

Ummm... lets see...
Nothing else really exciting happened.

Kyle got his tickets to see AVENGED SEVENFOLD and COHEED.
Lucky ~~bastard~~.
Oh well, he promised me he would get pics, so were good.

I just cracked everything in my back.
I shivered and my back went crazy...

Anyway, im done rambling...

love you's

<3<3

L.L.B.D.

L.L.S.

P.L.L.B.

1.7.4.3.

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 00:19:16 GMT

Grrr at today.
I didnt like today at all.

I got up around 11 and watched TV until 12.
Went on the computer for a while.

Mikey came over and we played outside.
Lots of fun.
After he left, I came back in and finished my myspace.
FINALLY.
Its loverly.

Umm, then I played CLUE and got accused of cheating because I was dealing and delt to myself first.
But, WHATEVER!

I watched LAND OF THE DEAD then went back on this stupid thing.

Played 2 games of CLUE again.

Ate dinner and now im going to bed.

Im fucking bored and my friends lie and they suck, so why stay awake?

Peace faggots.

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 06:41:29 GMT

So ok... I went to school and it sucked.
I couldnt talk and that was the hardest thing ever.

Luckily, not a whole lot of talking was involved in first hour, GOV.
We watched a movie on freedom of speech.
[Insert irony here]
haha.

I had to take a test in ECON.
Yeah, that was fun.
I didnt even know about it.
I still had to take it.
I was pissed.
Tom kept making fun of me... expected from a lower classman.
haha.

Umm in 3rd hour we went to the lab.
Not too bad.
Mr. Mantela, I think, has/had strep throat as well.
He couldnt talk very loud and he had to have an interpreter.
haha.

Lunch was hard.
I mean, I had to write EVERYTHING.
It sucked.
Then I got really pissed because Sunshine gave me a MOUNTAIN DEW.
I drank almost all of it and then Jimmy took it.
He poured it into another glass of assorted liquids and drank it.
I got soo mad.
I told them not to drink it, and they fucking did it anyway.

4th hour started out like shit.
I walk in and Andrew and Tyler are around Steve's computer.
I walked up, waved and the first thing Andrew does is go "eww."
I got so emo.
I swear to god that kid hates me.
I did NOTHING TO HIM!
What the fuck ever, I dont care anymore.
He can hate me all he wants.

In Wozs' class we started a project, a gameboard if you will.
Me and Julie paired up and it was really hard thinking of all these cool ideas I wanted to do, and then having to go and write them all down.
It was totally bogus.

Aerobics blew ass.
We went to the health room and sat there for like, ever.
ATREYU kept me busy.

Well, ive been working on my myspace for a while.
And it STILL sucks.
Im ginving up on myspace too.
It kind of got boring to me.
idk.

Well, goodnight lovers.

<3<3

L.L.B.D.

L.L.S.

P.L.L.B.

1743.

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 03:56:29 GMT

So... I stayed home from school today.

I like, woke up, and I had no voice. haha.

My mom kept trying to ask me questions and shit and im trying to talk and not laugh at my disability.

It was pretty funny.

I slept for maybe 2 - 2.5 hours after that.

I came down here and was on the computer until about 6.

I worked on my myspace.

I was trying to spiff it all up, and it wasnt working.

So I gave up and its now all incomplete and retarded.

Then I took a shower.

Watched CSI.

Then watched MIAMI INK.

Came back here, and checked all my stuff.

Straightened my hair, and now im going to bed.

I cant wait for tomorrow.

Its going to be insane.

I have no voice, and it hurts to:

Laugh - I cant be around my friends.
TRY to talk - Well, I guess im skipping class or getting a dry erase board to wear around my neck.
Swallow - I cant give oral or drink anything without tearing up.
Inhale - I cant breathe... so im going to die.

Well, I guess thats all for me kiddies.

~~PEACE~~

P.S.
I think I have a way around the blocker for myspace at school ^_^

P.S.S.
I love him so much.
~~-You know who you are-~~

P.S.S.S
Atreyu OFFICIALLY owns my FUCKING soul.

-Marlene-

<3<3

L.L.B.D.

L.L.S.

L.L.B.

1743.

Here, this actually made me laugh...

Its ok, you can laugh.
Its scene to laugh at things now.

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 03:30:30 GMT

Greetings from the infirmary...

Im REALLY sick right now. Strep throat, allergies, fever, all that jazz. I basically wanna stab myself IN THE FACE!

I should be sleeping, but at the moment, I cant.

I already know that IF I go to school tomorrow, im going to be emo. I probably wont talk at all.

Todays .5 day sucked hard. It just did, dont ask me why.

Ashley came over for a while and that was cool.

My mom took my notebook that had all my fucking stories in it and was reading it.
I was fighting her to get it back.
She ended up ripping a few pages out and rolling it all up and making it all FUCKING gay.

Ashley's writing a new one.
Its pretty sweet.

Im supposed to be re-doing Mikeys myspace right now... but I HAVE to sleep.

Ill see you all in the morning if I go to school.

<3<3

L.L.B.D

1743.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 02:26:39 GMT

So last night was Taste of Chaos...

Saturday morning Ashley and I woke up with a lovely hangover. Her sister dropped me off at home, then Ashley at her house. I took a shower and all that jazz and was ready to go by 10 to 1. So my mom and I went to pick up my uncle and Ashley. We did that then went to 711 to get a ~~LOST ENERGY DRINK~~. All the way there we were sooo excited and nervous, well, I was kinda nervous, I dont know about Ashley.

When we got there, we saw a clan of kids skip across the street. It was kinds cute. haha. We walked around a lot and took pictures of the marquee above the COBO not the JLA. Barbie in Fairytopia, David Copperfield [i think] and the whole Taste of Chaos one with dates and everything. We walked around by the back and had a smoke and then finally went in and sat in the lobby. We wandered and talked and were lame. I saw a table of stickers and decided to ransack them and me and Ashley loaded up. She later bought a CD with some songs of the bands playing that night. Then people started migrating to the doors so we followed and filtered inside. We found our seats and got comfortable.

This is kinda foggy, but I remember getting a myspace bag full of goodies. CD's, pins, a baloon, just lots of stuff to entertain me. Then we got up and got in line for merch. It was like 32835408345 times faster this year than last. We were in line for about 15 minutes. I got a hoodie with CHAOS on the front and the logo on theb ack with the band names and dates going around it. So it basically owns your face. We went back in and a few minutes later, FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND came on. They were really good being the first bigger band of the night. We rocked out to them and then left the arena to walk around.

When we came back, we were just in time for AS I LAY DYING. They were really scream-y. I almost fell asleep though. haha. I tried sitting up on my seat, but the faggots behind us told me to sit down. After that fiesta, we walked around again. I believe this was when we made it a routine to go outside and have a smoke. We picked a spot and went to the edge and tried making conversation with the people around us. After the smoke, we went back inside.

We were once again, just in time for the next band who happened to be STORY OF THE YEAR. I was only able to sing to one song. I think they were singing all new stuff from their album, that of which, I dont have. Ashley took some video, and after they played, we went back outside. We saw a lot of adorable boys. One in particular. He had a yellow ~~Chiodos~~ shirt and he stood out. I think he was like, the only person there who was wearing yellow. If im not mistaken, this was the time when I took the hand soap from the sink outside and squirted it on the ambulance directly below us. It got all over the window, and we went inside. ANYway... after we had a bad habit, we went back inside and almost shit because ATREYU was next in line.

Before they came out, Ashley and myself moved so we could stand up without people bitching. She taped the whole thing on her camera and I sang EVERY song. They played all the ones I wanted to hear. "Ex's and Oh's", "Her Portrait in Black", "Bleeding Mascara", "The Crimson", "Right Side of the Bed" & "Lip Gloss and Black". It was like, the best 20 minutes of my fucking life. After they played we went outside again and had a smoke. While outside, we met 2 guys that were spitting on the ambulance that I soaped. One of them, took the soap, opened it, and dumped the whole bottle on the windsheild. They were really great. We went back inside and got ready for THRICE

"Image of the Invisible" was the only song I knew. I think Ashley took a few pictures and that was all. If I remember correctly, we went outside and didnt even wait for them to finish. We met 2 guys and one was like, gayer than "Whats up Lake Shore, its ya boy, JARED...". Still, they were fun and funny. Somehow, the DEFTONES came up and I said I didnt really like them and the straight one was all "What?!" And we kinda went back and forth until we finished the smoke and went back inside.

DEFTONES came out and started. I was really disappointed in them. They sucked horribly. After they sang about 3 songs, Ashley and I left the arena completely. We were in the lobby, and watched the sticker table for this guy while he went and got something. When he came back, we went to use a pay phone. After the call, we went outside and there was a guy giving away ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK. We started walking around outside and ended up going back to the garbage cans full of R.S.E.D. and grabbed as many cans as we could before the guy made us leave. I ended up with 13 and Ashley got 11. This guy pulled up in a van and opened the back and started playing some music. He was giving shit away too. We got these crazy cards and later on, I grabbed Ashley and I a couple posters and fliers. My mom showed up shortly and we got in and left.

I saw only 2 people I knew. Josh [aka, asshole tickle boy], and Chuck something or other.

We saw guys who looked like, Andrew, Jimmy, Charles and Branden. It was like they went, only they didnt. haha, does that make sense?

Ok, well, I have to go now, and take a shower and then clean the room of Marlene.

<3<3<3

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 17:13:17 GMT

Wow people.
Its been a while.
I think.
I dont really remember and I didnt look at the last date for the previous entry.
MOVing on...

Ummm, yeah... I dont remember if I said anything about Ashleys birthday party in the last update, so im going to now...

It was really fucking fun. Id like to think I made 3 new friends, but im most likely delusional. Stephanie, Nikki and Charles. I dont know, if im wrong, PLEASE tell me. Ok so anyway... there was no alcohol consumption... by me. Charles and Andrew drank though... lucky fucks. Then they decided to walk back to Andrews... I was a little nervous for them though. Oh well, they made it ok. Everyone had to leave at 11 and all that was left was Ashley, Nikki, Stephanie, and me. It was really fun. We stayed up until like... 5 or 6 or something. THEN her mother made us go to fucking church. Then I came home and that was that.

Last night I went to Ashleys' sisters humble abode. I met the wonderful Jeff that I had heard SO much about. Hes basically amazing, we got along really well. Then there were the dikes. They were... different. I dont think they liked me very much. I was loud and drunk. BUT... oh well. Ummm, the larger one left early and left the other little one with us. She looks like a dude!! Shes insanly manly. lol. We played this strange game called "Apples to Apples". I never really grasped the concept of the game, but thats ok, it was fun anyhow. Ashley and I took a lot of pictures last night. I havent looked at them because my mom is sitting right behind me. BUT, ill look later.

Ok, well, I have to get ready for Taste Of Chaos now. Im supposed to be leaving in an hour and a half. i still have to shower and all that good stuff.

So, with that said... peace out nukka. lol.

"IM TOASTED! BUTTER ME!"

CAP COUNT: 25

Thats all I can find in my bag right now. Im sure there are more somewhere else.

I LOVE YOU!!!
<3

Emo as fucking hell!

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 01:13:55 GMT

Well, as you dont know, I got my belt-buckle today. I opened it all up and put in the batteries and then hit ON and... NOTHING! Sooo, I switch the batteries around and switch their spots and nothing still. So we go on over to Hot Topic to get me a new belt with the intention of getting new batteries at Meijer. We get there, and the girl says that they had blue ones too, but they sent them all back becasue like 1 out of every box of 20 or something worked. So that just made me even more pissed. To top it all off, I got a belt about, 5 sizes too big ang I have to exchange that as well.

So then, we got my belt and headed over to Meijer. We had the woman at the jewlery counter check the batteries I had and they said they were fine, and that it was the buckle that was defective. So I got REALLY emo. I hardly spoke a word to my mom or brother. I was just so pissed and we had JUST got to the store. SoI had to walk around, pissed off, for like, 2.5 hours. Then, I got so emo, I cried. I just started thinking about all the stupid shit that had happened to me all week, and then this stupid belt issue had to fuck me over. My mom like, tried to comfort me by buying me a bunch of stuff, but it wasnt making me feel any better.

Im gonna go.
The Distillers are making me feel better than anything else in the world right now.

Peace.

</3

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:51:21 GMT

Ok... this is how it is... I really like this one boy. He doesnt know and its probably for the best. Rumors are, he has a girlfriend anyway. There is no way in HELL, anything will ever happen between us. Ive never talked to the fuckin kid before. Im fuckin scared too. That is how lame I am. I have accepted the fact that nothing will happen and that I need to find someone more realistic to swoon over. But that is my problem, I dont really like anyone else. I dont know... its kind of confusing. My life is so pathetic that I swoon over guys I have no chance with. It gets me more and more depressed every day. How retarded is that? I mean, its not like a celebrity crush... but it may as well be one because nothing is going to occurr. I see him in school almost every day, and im sure he doesnt even know I exist. Sometimes, I just feel like, giving up and never dating another guy as long as I live.

OK LETS NOT BE COMPLETELY EMO NOW!!!!

My best friend Kyle turned 19 yesterday. He is so amazingly adorable too. I love that kid. He had a huge party, but I hear he has the worst hangover known to man.

Ashley turned 18 today. I gave her the sweatshirt and at lunch, orange pop was spilled on it and she got all retarded and emo. I hate that, it wasnt that big of a deal anyway. Then she freaked on Sunshine and Jimmy and that was TOTALLY un-necessary. Sunshine and Jimmy are way too adorable to be mad at.

Umm, my belt buckle, the LCD Scrolly one, should be at my house either tomorrow, or friday. YAY! I am really ecxited peeps. Its gonna be all blue and fuckin hot. Me and Ashley shall have matching messages and it will be amazing.

I just ate my dinner. Well, only half of my dinner. The other half was sausage and a waffle. I just ate the strawberries that were to go on top. I love strawberries. They are like my favorite fruit EVER.

I finally got the No Ones Anthem CD. I really like it, even though the songs are short. But I mean, if you think about it, it was made by boys who are like, 14 or 15. Its really cool that they were able to do that. It makes me want to not give up hope for the future of the students that go to Lake Shore.

Senior Class Picture was today. It wasnt as fun as I thought it was going to be. Me and Ashley were in front though, so we will be seen in the pic. I did the shocker againt my leg off to the side kind of. I wonder if she'll see it. I hope not, that'd be fuckin sweet if it passed and made it into the yearbook. But im sure shes going to have like 25853456 people check it for hand gestures.

I downloaded alllllll the distillers songs last night. Well, no, thats a lie, I didnt get the Spider Man theme song cover they did. But I got all the others, all 43 of them. I still havent had the pleasure of listening to all of them in order, but I am going to tomorrow. Im way to tired and im not in that good of a mood.

Ok, so im done now.
If you just read this, then leave a fuckin comment.
Dont just read it and then be on your way.

Ok, good night sexies.

-Marlene-

L.L.B.D

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 04:36:42 GMT

So ok... its been like a REALLY long time since I updated.

I dyed my hair today!
It was so exciting yo.
Im gonna put pics on my myspace soon.
Once I get some FUCKING batteries.

Ummm... Kyle and Mikey's myspaces are going amazingly.
lol.
Lots of friends for the both of them.

My mommy got me the Scrolly Belt Buckle!
Im excited because its the SAME concept as the Hot Topic one, only, mine has a back to protect it, and its in blue text.
So its not the same as Ashleys, just better!
lol.
I should be getting it byyyyy friday or sooner.
Its comin from Cali, but a company, not a single dude so it may be here faster... who knows.

Sad stuff now...
Mikeys little brother, Aiden died.
It was the worst thing ever.
Mikey just fell apart.
Hes residing at his aunts right now.
I miss him.
A LOT.

Ok, well im gonna take a QUICK shower, and go to sleeep.

L for LOVE!

"Do you want this?"

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 04:05:54 GMT

Oh man, im bored.

Its, 1052p and I have nothing toooo dooo!

Ummm, myspace was being a whore all day. And it still is being one. I cant fuckin leave comments or approve them, OH WELL!

Hmm, im supposed to get Kyle to create a myspace.

Mikey got his back and its all loverly.

Im talking about the dodgers to ashley on the phone... whe thought I said doctors... Kiiiiinda funny.

Hmmm, what else is cool?
Nothing about me thats for fuckin sure.

"you.are.fuckin.wierd." - Ashley.

So Cronus ate his fuckin kids.
Yeah, Greek Myth is pretty fucked.

So, now im going to harass Kyle.

LLBD

1743.